Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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