thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize