So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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