Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
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