the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
