well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
