Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
