I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
