The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
