she was so not down for the gang bang
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
God, I missed his penis.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
