I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
