He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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