I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
