What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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