I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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