You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize