scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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