Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Of course I have a pirate flag
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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