is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
