I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
