Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
