Got a toothbrush?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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