yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
