he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
