But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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