Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
