Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
