WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
