Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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