His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
