The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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