I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
