so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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