I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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