worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
