Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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