i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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