32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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