I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
