but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
false alarm, still single
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