is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
