I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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