I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
