Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
