I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
