the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
