so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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