Only a mothe r could love this liver
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
