absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
