Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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