You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
