Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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