do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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