Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
