It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
