She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
