I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
