C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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