Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
