I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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