Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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