Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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