i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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