In the future we'll all be gay
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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