Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
