just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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